The high school hallways always seem to be riddled with the same old drama and artificial friendliness. One day your group of friends seems just fine, and suddenly the next day a whole storm of drama and hostility separates you. The following day, everything is strangely fine again. Is this exhausting cycle really what being friends is about? One can easily get sucked into it, but, more importantly, how does one stay above it? And how does one decipher between a real friendship and one that is utterly toxic and fake?
Firstly, do your friends care about you? It may seem silly, but do they genuinely care if you are hurt, sad, upset, or just want to talk? Do they take into consideration your thoughts and opinions? Your friend group should be there to support you, not brush off your feelings and disregard the things you are striving for. If you feel left out in a group of friends, and if you feel like your voice is never heard, it’s time to take the high road and go find a group that will actually respect you.
That being said, friendship is more than just fun outings and a couple of laughs here and there. There’s a deeper meaning to it, and if you are not getting that from the people you surround yourself with, then something is wrong. You shouldn’t feel like you are below your friends, or that you can’t express yourself around them, or that you are ever a second choice. Additionally, you shouldn’t feel like your friend only needs you when they are bored; you are a person, not a pastime.
These are just some of the key identifiers of a toxic and fake friendship, and these warning signs should lead you to finding better people for yourself. You don’t have to settle.
However, life still happens are there are just some things we can’t avoid, such as drama within groups of friends, real or not. But we can influence how we deal with that drama, because there are certainly right and wrong ways of doing so. Remaining calm and not getting too overheated is the first step in dealing with drama because it prevents you from saying things you would otherwise regret if you weren’t in the emotional state you are in. Acting on impulsive, angry thoughts is almost always a recipe for failure, most of the time resulting in burnt bridges that can’t be rebuilt.
Secondly, the best thing you can do to cure friend drama is to have a mature talk about it. Discuss what the disagreement is, how you plan to fix it, and what emotions you all may be feeling. You may find out it was all just a misunderstanding. Either way, there’s no issue a little talking and thinking through can’t help resolve. If it all comes down to the worst, give the situation some time to heal and cool down, because time can fix just about anything.
“Listen, be considerate of other people’s feelings, and try to remain neutral,” suggests senior Courtney Chandler when it comes to drama. “Every friend group has topics that they just don’t bring up in conversation. Know what you should talk about and know what reactions your words might provoke.”
“Don’t pick sides unless it’s absolutely necessary,” adds senior Maddux Snook.
So, choose your friends wisely, and remember, quality over quantity. If the friendship is real, you’ll feel it, and the drama should be less frequent and it should cure itself more easily. In the end, friendship is a two-way agreement, and you should never feel like your end has no voice.
