It is no secret that adolescence is a time of social turmoil, anxiety and insecurity. However, current generations are suffering more than typical due to the shared experience of the COVID-19 pandemic, increased technology use and changing political and social climates.
According to health professionals and the U.S. surgeon general, the U.S. is facing a loneliness epidemic. Half of adults are struggling with feelings of loneliness and Gen Z is even more isolated, with 73% reporting feelings of loneliness.
For these reasons, Gen Z is being considered the loneliest generation and it is showing in mental health statistics and workplace retention.
One cause could be attributed to the COVID-19 pandemic. People became more reliant on their phones and electronics for social interactions. During the pandemic, it was necessary to use electronics more than usual in order to replace physical interaction, as staying separated ensured public health and safety.
Since then, in-person interactions have been reimplemented into society; however, people are still struggling to detach from their phones. Where there would have been physical interaction before, people are communicating and connecting online. While this can help create stronger relationships in some cases, when electronics are replacing in-person interactions, feelings of loneliness and isolation are imminent. Rather than scheduling time to get together with friends outside of school, students are using social media and electronic communication to keep in touch. The problem is this is limiting teenagers’ social development.
Gen Z is the first generation who has had full internet access their whole lives. These students and young adults have been overstimulated, looking to the instant gratification of social media for happiness instead of fostering human connection in real relationships.
Another explanation is technology’s encouragement of a more independent society. When people have questions, they look it up on Google or YouTube and are able to learn new skills on their own. While this is very convenient and efficient, it is also taking away from human connection. Before smartphones, people relied on asking others for help. Now that information is readily available, this method of communication is uncommon. This means people will have to search out friendships and relationships more than they have in the past.
Fear of judgement also holds teenagers back from maintaining close relationships. “As teenagers, we focus on what others think of us instead of what we think of ourselves. We place value in how many people like us or how many friends we have when, in reality, we can’t make everyone like us. I focus a lot of my energy on a few friends who make me feel loved, and I don’t surround myself with people who make me question my worth as a person, and it has made me a much happier person,” said senior Elyse Van Meter.
By focusing on finding friends who lift you up as a person, fear of rejection doesn’t need to be a limiting factor in teenage friendships. Being a good friend and forming close relationships with others is rarely an easy task. Relationships require work and patience to develop and nurture over time. Friendship is a learned skill, and while humans are social creatures, they don’t always know how to foster relationships and selflessly serve others.
Here are a few suggestions for becoming a better friend:
First, be patient and tolerant. Relationships don’t develop overnight. They require time and effort. It takes time for friendships to feel close, but as long as effort is being given, the results will come. Further, when spending time with someone, they are bound to mess up, make mistakes or offend. It can be hard to forget about these experiences; however, by granting friends some grace to make mistakes they can see that despite their imperfections, they are still a person worth having a relationship with.
A prominent issue in society is a lack of tolerance and patience for people’s mistakes. Kindness can be of great benefit to all parties involved. “I think kindness is very important for everyone,” explained Kindness Award winner Laura Machetta. “The experience of being treated with kindness or sharing that kindness with others is an amazing feeling.”
Second, reach out and make plans. It is not easy to be vulnerable and make the invitation. By initiating plans with someone, you are showing you care about them. Meeting with friends in-person helps develop social skills and deepen human understanding and compassion.
Last, be a reliable listener. People want someone they can depend on to care for them. Friends are a great support system during hardships. Friends can provide support that others cannot. A good friend is willing to be there to support and console.
The world would be a happier, kinder and more supportive place if everyone would strive to be a good friend. “While friendship with true friends is a struggle for most people, especially teenagers, it is important to always try your best to be a good, kind friend always,” advised Machetta.
