“When I was your age….” is a phrase most children have heard at least once in their lives. It is often followed by the expression of disapproval over the actions and habits of younger generations or “kids these days.”
“You wouldn’t understand…” is a phrase most adults have heard from kids. It is often followed by descriptions of typical adolescent challenges and disapproval over the adults’ suggestions.
It is clear the difference between generations can put a strain on relationships and mutual respect.
Teenagers feel misunderstood by the adults in their lives. Now, they are experiencing many challenges that haven’t been seen by older generations; however, going through adolescence is something all adults have experienced. Throughout this time of growth and learning, there are experiences faced by all. “We could listen to them and look for ways to communicate with them,” eighth grader Reese Pettersen said. This means the experience and wisdom that adults have gained through their maturity could be helpful for teens as they face different challenges.
Similarly, adults often feel frustrated with younger generations. They perceive the upcoming generations as unmannered, disrespectful and rude. While children and teenagers are often disrespectful and rude toward adults, kids are still learning and just reflect what they have observed in their lives. Therefore, older generations could be more accepting of younger ones, recognizing that they have more life experience and can’t justly hold these kids to the same or higher standards than they hold themselves and other adults to.
Disrespect is not always a direct action from children to adults, instead, it is often a difference in expectations and social norms from generation to generation. “The perceived lack of respect is, in my opinion, the result of a shift in attitudes about decorum or politeness between the generations,” shared AP English Language teacher Lynne Lundberg. “That’s not necessarily the same thing as respect. My generation was taught to show respect by demonstrating deference, while today’s young people show respect by engaging with respected people with interest and curiosity. Doing so isn’t disrespectful, but it could seem to be if the older person is expecting to be treated with deference.”
Generations are divided and labelled for a reason: they are different from one another. They are growing up and working in different social and political climates. They experienced different major world events. Boomers experienced a recovering country with prosperity and the values of hard work. Generation X grew up without a lot of modern technology and were young adults when 9/11 occurred. Millennials grew up in the aftermath of the 9/11 terrorist attacks and dealt with the financial crisis of 2008. Generation Z was in middle and high school during the COVID-19 pandemic and are now entering the workforce. Generation Alpha were very young during the pandemic and are growing up with the most advanced technology of any thus far. Because of these different generational experiences and circumstances, the people in these generations have developed and learned differently than other generations.
Naturally, it would be difficult for people to relate across generations, because they are different. All aspects of life and society are disadvantaged by lack of empathy and understanding. Productivity, happiness and success all decrease as misunderstanding increases.
Solutions to this issue begins with people taking personal responsibility and initiative to connect with different generations. “I try to act as an ambassador to the elderly. When people my age and older ask me how I can stand working with teens, I tell them stories about how great my students are and about how much I learn from them,” said Lundberg. “I’m trying to counter the negative narratives. The key is to avoid making negative pronouncements about an entire demographic group. We should all know better than that.”
In addition to countering stereotypes, normalizing intergenerational friendship and understanding is key to success. “A lot of the time, kids will be talking to their grandparents, but interrupt them or change the subject when they are tired of listening. The same goes for adults. Kids want to be listened to by adults too and it often doesn’t work. Listening to each other is the first step,” advised Pettersen.
Going further in intergenerational interactions by extending friendship and open mindedness will lead to greater happiness, productivity and patience in today’s society.
