QUIZ: How much of a simp are you?


Ephraim Bittner

Simp Ephraim Bitner snapchats girls only to get left on opens. Ephraim is at the top of the simp leaderboard with the record score on this quiz.

Elise Johnson, Arts and Entertainment Editor

Are you a simp? Or are you a chad? Keep track of your points and count them up at the end to find out your true identity.

1 = 1 point 2 = 2 points 3 = 3 points 4 = 4 points

How many girls do you regularly Snapchat?

  1. All of my Snapchat best friends are girls
  2. Maybe four or five?
  3. A few girls, all are just friends except one.
  4. I snapchat girls a lot but they don’t snapchat me back that often; I think they’re probably just really busy.

Do you support women’s rights?

  1. No of course not! I was born in the wrong generation; I’d prefer if women couldn’t vote.
  2. I think women are already equal enough and need to stop complaining so much.
  3. Yes, I think women should be equal to men.
  4. Of course I support women’s rights! How dare you even question that? Women are the most beautiful, pristine, angelic beings this universe has ever created in its billions of years of existence. I would FIGHT for my queens; I want to make every woman as happy as they should be. I want to kiss their hand when they feel alone, supply the warmth they lust for in their bed at night, and assure these baby girls that everything will be alright. As long as they are in the embrace of my arms, they can know that they are safe from all the evil men immersing this planet.

How many real girlfriends have you had?

  1. I have four girlfriends at this very moment. I like to hit girls up at night just so I can ignore them.
  2. I’m usually always in a relationship with someone.
  3. I’ve had one or two relationships before.
  4. I have never had a girlfriend before, but I have a big crush on Winry from Fullmetal Alchemist.

What kind of hats do you like?

  1. I really like ballcaps.
  2. I like to wear beanies.
  3. I don’t really care.
  4. Fedoras are cool.

Have you ever ditched plans with your friends for a girl?

  1. No, the boys come first. Instead, I make plans with girls and hang out with the boys instead.
  2. No, I haven’t.
  3. A couple times.
  4. There’s nothing wrong with doing that. If a girl needs help I will drop everything to be by her side.

What do you like to talk to girls about?

  1. I like to ask them “you up?” at 1am.
  2. My go-to is to tell them about my sports.
  3. I don’t have anything specific, just regular conversation that pops up.
  4. I love to tell them how important they are to me and this world at least four times a day.

What’s your star sign?

  1. Leo
  2. Other
  3. Capricorn
  4. Pisces

Do you do your homework?

  1. No
  2. Sometimes
  3. Usually
  4. Always

Do you hate the male gender?

  1. No the boys are supreme
  2. Not really
  3. Sometimes because they act up a bit
  4. I despise the male gender. They can burn; let the beautiful, angelic women take over the world as they should.

What kind of music do you listen to?

  1. Rap Caviar on Spotify
  2. Anything except country
  3. R&B, lofi and some rap
  4. Da Baby only


32+ points: You’re a straight up simp. You need to get your heart broken by a girl and start listening to Death Grips.

27-31 points: You’re a pretty chill person. Life will make its way for people like you.

22-26 points: You’re pretty decent, but if you’re not careful you could become a Chad one day.

21 or less points: You’re a Chad. You are the highest demographic at PVHS.