When you look at history books, you’ll always find that they are about certain events in, well, history.
I’m beginning to think this will not happen from now on. Besides the fact that some people want to rewrite history, I believe the history books will start being about the years themselves. Specifically, 2020. There is so much going on.
One of the most conspicuous indications of this might be the change in what we shun this year. The following actions are just some of the many new ways people are getting shunned this year:
- Taking Off Your Mask
Seriously, breathing the same air as me? That is just wrong.
- Owning AirPods
You must be rich. Shame on you for not giving those away to the people who do not work.
- Supporting the Police
Funny enough, the people who need police the most are the often the ones calling for the defund.
- Calling Someone a Lying Dog-Faced Pony Soldier
… what?
- Saying “All Lives Matter”
How could you possibly think the lives of people of a different race matter too? You’re racist for thinking all races are equal.
- Writing Satirical Listicles
Trying to be funny isn’t funny anymore. It’s offensive. Yet, in and of itself it’s kinda funny it’s offensive. But it’s offensive to think something offensive is funny. But…
- Voting Third Party
It’s a wasted vote. Sure, maybe it’s the right thing to do, but it’s one less vote for the upcoming president. The gray area in the middle does not exist anymore, remember?
- Being Happy
It is 2020, after all. If you’re happy and you know it, you’re not watching enough TV. Or maybe you’re just racist for not being sad about social injustice.
Unfortunately, committing arson and looting did not make the list. Typically these might be closer to the top, but this year they appear to be encouraged.
So what else will appear in the 2020 history book, besides an attempted impeachment, COVID-19, protests and riots and George Floyd’s death, the election and the emergence of satirical fake news? Aside from possibly the death of Kobe Bryant (RIP), the world may never know.
