While browsing through Netflix, it is practically unavoidable to stumble across an idyllic romance movie or television show. Whether it be the coincidental first encounter of romantic partners, the humorous banter shared over an amusing situation or the immediate endearment from one or both individuals, these stories serve as an enduring standard for what an ideal romance might look like.
The media constantly reinforces the idea of what love and dating “should” be, but the accresent expectations fall short. Many young adults yearn for “teenage love” and hope to find their soulmate in a picturesque meet-cute. Movies and television make it seem easy, but – in modern society –it is anything but.
Now, the meeting of romantic partners and friendships most commonly transpires in a disconnected social sphere on the internet. The rise of hookup culture, dating apps, and social media like Snapchat and Instagram, has drastically changed dating norms. The American Psychological Institution observed that more than 60% of North American college students have participated in hookup-culture in their first year. This culture has shifted the focus from committed relationships to casual dating.
Meeting people online is a double-edged sword. The younger generation says they’ve become better friends with their significant other over text and online chats before dating. However, it is increasingly apparent that an individual’s self worth is measured by insignificant features of an app.
For example, Junior Constanza Viera noticed that there are certain standards people are expected to meet when communicating through media like Snapchat. These standards can have a serious mental toll on the user. “The seriousness of a relationship is indicated through the amount of likes gotten or the amount of time left on delivered. If a boy doesn’t open a girl’s snap in less than an hour, the girl might automatically assume he isn’t interested. The same goes for any other gender,” Viera explained.
These interactions seem drastically different from the “natural” progression of love seen on television, and these new norms are making the dating world more difficult.
“I think that talking to someone with the intention of being more than friends ruins the ability for that couple to foster any sort of friendship. People that talk over text or snap live in this gray area in which there is miscommunication and guessing games,” Viera continued.
Dating has become especially hard due to the lack of face-to-face interactions, and the internet has contributed to often outlandish expectations that men and women should have. On Tiktok, creators share videos regarding the actions of an ideal significant other. It seems like each week there is a new standard,. Couples that see these videos may feel as if they are always letting each other down by comparing their relationship to unrealistic depictions of others online. A recent example being the ‘orange peel theory’ in which a relationship’s worth is determined by if the partner peels an orange for you.
Junior Alika Cho recognized how modern relationships have also placed more strain on an individual’s mental health. “Online dating and the pain of rejection is having negative psychological effects on participants. When relationships are almost entirely online, it can seem as though couples are magnifying their flaws and insecurities through the screen,” she observed.
Not only are online relationships causing relationship insecurity but bodily insecurity as well. News Medical Life Sciences reports that 73% of teenage girls and 69% of teenage boys feel insecure about their appearance, and many are led to believe that online dating has amplified peoples’ self-consciousness. Given that teenagers are naturally more self conscious about their appearance than adults, the new dating landscape has made it even more difficult for teens to feel confident in their bodies.
The portrayal of relationships both on social media and television is becoming increasingly unrealistic. Couples are often depicted as being perfect for each other in relationships that have no faults. When people let these false expectations of what they believe their relationship should look like, they are often left disappointed to find that real relationships are not always perfect.
