The jolliest time of the year; known for love, family and celebration. As everyone comes together to enjoy the snowy season, the clouds hang lower over some. The absence of those who once enjoyed the holidays amongst the rest is enough to destroy the pressured Christmas spirit.
As the ornaments are set upon the tree and lights are strung from the posts, the warmth of Christmas tends to be overwhelming for most. However, the nostalgic feelings the holly tunes bring are a simple reminder of what’s been lost.
The most cheerful people tend to push the joy of the holidays amongst everyone, but the occasional humbug among the pack is frowned upon. The holidays are some of the most unsettling times of the year for some. They resurface the lonely, depressive feelings winter can bring. At Thanksgiving dinner, when a seat is no longer filled, but reserved for a particular loved one who’s passed, some would do anything to go back to the loud, exhilarating jokes of the dinner table, rather than the gloomy silence. Or when a child who grew up with a unified, happy and loving family now has to spend Christmas in two separate homes with strangers who go by the names ‘mom’ or ‘dad’, the memories of what once was, feel bitter rather than sweet. The holidays aren’t truly the best time of the year, and if someone wishes to spend the jolly days as any other, it should be embraced and accepted.
The gray clouds and windy weather can be seen as a perfect representation of mood throughout December. The empty spot above the fireplace where a loved ones stocking used to rest, or the extra batch of snickerdoodle cookies that’s been baked in honor of them since it was their favorite, causes grief-filled memories to arise. Simple little reminders are everywhere, dimming the bright light that Christmas should be bringing upon lives.
Senior Savana Stalkfleet has noticed the shift after the passing of her uncle in the last year, and worries about what Christmas will bring. “Growing up, I spent Christmas at my grandparents house. It was always such a fun time to unwrap presents and eat dinner with everyone. I now have to spend Christmas in my own home because my family has decided to go separate ways. Nothing is the same anymore, but if my uncle were still here, I would be able to feel Christmas joy the same as I did when I was a little girl,”Stalkfleet shared.
As everyone grows older, changes are bound to take place. However, the pain brought by some changes causes a shift that’s irreversible and heart-rending. Nothing can compare to the childhood winter festivities of playing in the snow with family, or putting the star on top of the tree. Even with only one individual missing from the group, the loud laughter and appreciation of the holidays vanishes.
Alongside Stalkfleet, Hannah Faust’s Christmas morning has not been the same since she was eight. “While my mom was deployed, I lived with my great grandma. In a way, she was somewhat like a mother figure to me. She taught me a lot of what I know today, and those few months of living with her will never be enough,” she shared. “Every Christmas, we leave an empty seat for her at the table. It allows us to remember all the lessons she taught us, along with the wonderful human she was. I’ll miss her forever, and the holiday season serves as a reminder to appreciate everyone I still have.” Faust has managed to adapt to the changes within her family, and honor what she has lost.
The absence of loved ones within a family is life-altering, enough to poison the happiest time of the year.
Even the humbling smile of a loved one is enough to truly make Christmas so comforting and enjoyable. With the passing of Jordyn Drish’s grandfather, she fears she’ll never feel this again. “My whole life, I have gone over to my grandparents’ home for Christmas, and they never fail to lift the Christmas spirit. With lights everywhere and antique decorations, it’s always so cheerful. My grandfather passed before Christmas last year, followed by my grandma buying a new home. Just upon walking into her new house, you could tell she wasn’t the same. The effort within the decorations was gone, and I lost that comforting feeling of Christmas. The mood without my grandfather at Christmas isn’t the same. You no longer hear his random, funny comments, or look over at him and see the brightest smile. It’s all a reminder that he’s not here anymore and things are a lot different now,” she said. “I haven’t been looking forward to this year’s Christmas, because last year was just too hard for my family and I to endure.”
Growing up, the feeling of waking up on Christmas morning is unmatched. Those feelings never seem to fade until one’s all grown up and hit with reality.
Ian Meade lost his grandfather just a few months ago. Without him, Ian and the rest of his family will be unable to continue with their familiar Christmas traditions. “My grandpa was the one in charge of our tradition we like to call ‘Contemporary Santa’. The tradition entails my grandfather’s picking of who will be Santa for the year, and getting to hand out my cousin and I’s gifts, along with choosing elves. Now that I’m a senior, I would have been chosen for the tradition this year. But since he’s passed I don’t think our family will ever follow the tradition again. It would be too hard without him, and by leaving the tradition untouched, his legacy will carry on. I know I’ll tell my kids about what kind of man he was, and how special he made the holidays,” Meade stated. Meade represents how difficult it can be to uphold the Christmas spirit when things can never be the same.
Growing up in a perfect family is one of the greatest things a child can experience. Yet in a broken family, the holiday season brings on nostalgic feelings. The best times of the past under the lit up tree, become mere memories. A dramatic shift within a family results in sorrowful gifts and melancholy songs as soon as the holiday season begins.
Senior Karlee Sutherland understands the hardships of the holidays, “My parents separated when I was sixteen, just a few days before Thanksgiving. Growing up, the holidays for me were always a cheerful time to spend with my family. I loved decorating the tree with my dad, then baking cookies with my mom. With these changes though, the holidays can feel pretty awkward. It’s weird being together with my family, knowing there’s underlying tension,” she expressed. “Christmas time from my childhood is hard to reminisce on, because I know things will never be the same. It hurts knowing that the thing I enjoyed so much growing up has turned into something I’ve come to dread.”
The holidays are a time for families to joyfully come together, although with how divorce rates have increased, Sutherland’s experiences have become the same for several other teenagers. For so many, Christmas becomes something to dwell on, rather than celebrate.
Despite the gifts, treats, and snowflakes, the holiday season never fails to bring out the worst in most. For some, Christmas is the best day of the year. But once a family member is lost or a significant life change is made, Christmas is nothing to look forward to. It becomes a blatant reminder of what’s been lost, and that nostalgic, cheerful childhood feeling is lost forever.
Rather than spreading Christmas cheer to all, it must be recognized that underneath the lit up tree, some are suffering more than expected. There is nothing wrong with welcoming the lonely feelings and depressed thoughts which arise at the first snowfall. But upon growth and maturing, one can heal and understand that the holidays are a time to love, using them to remember those who have been lost, and smile at the memories.
Jessica Parker • Dec 12, 2022 at 5:21 pm
I think it is important to recognize and remember all of the memories that have been made throughout the holidays. Although many can be bittersweet, it reminds us to never take things for granted because they will not always be there.