Satire: Adults put foot down; one PV student cuts loose

Sophomore+Ben+McCormack+dances+exuberantly+in+the+face+of+Bettendorf+Rev.+Shawn+Moore+in+light+of+Turnabout+being+reinstated

Photo credit to John Mendelin

Sophomore Ben McCormack dances exuberantly in the face of Bettendorf Rev. Shawn Moore in light of Turnabout being reinstated

John Mendelin, Arts and Entertainment Editor

Turnabout, a beloved semi-formal dance of Pleasant Valley for which the gender roles are reversed, was cancelled up until the week of Dec. 14. However, through a shocking feat of local political victory, PV sophomore, Ben McCormack dazzled the hearts of the student body and Bettendorf City Council in order to put Turnabout back on the district calendar.

Bettendorf religious leaders formed the Coalition Against Frivolous Teen Dancing (CAFTD) in September of 2018 after hearing reports of scandalous student activity from PV Homecoming chaperones. The organization’s president and city council chamberman, Rev. Shawn Moore, was most moved by these reports and immediately took action to cancel Pleasant Valley’s next school dance: Turnabout.

Moore’s proposal was welcomed graciously among chaperones and Pleasant Valley staff and was immediately approved by the school board and administration. First year American Literature teacher, Samantha Clementine, was overjoyed she would be relieved from chaperoning another dance. “I enjoy a good night of dancing from time to time myself, but that rock and roll and provocative dancing at Homecoming was just too much for little me.”  

CAFTD is an organization which spans across many faith traditions, and the variety of members include Christian, Jewish, Muslim, and Hindu leaders. “We figured our gods are most likely all against that rock and roll dancing going on at high schools,” said Moore. “At the time, I felt that it was our job to put an end to the sinning.”

McCormack and the Pleasant Valley student body were left appalled in wake of these changes, and even sought to take action. “From the oldest of times, people danced for a number of reasons. They danced in prayer or in hopes that their crops would be plentiful, or that their hunt might be successful; this is our time to dance,” said McCormack at the Dec. 6 Bettendorf City Council meeting. He later cited references to joyous dancing in sacred texts in hope of persuading council members and the CAFTD.

Leaders first moved to deny McCormack’s request to bring the Turnabout back, but after several choreographed song and dance sequences, Moore pondered his decision and preached again on the subject during the following Sunday’s sermon. “If we don’t start trusting our children, how will they ever become trustworthy?”

Turnabout’s cancellation was soon revoked after the CAFTD’s change of heart, and Pleasant Valley rejoiced. Students were later sighted celebrating by singing and performing choreographed dance numbers throughout the halls.