Satire: PVHS begins aggressive stance against coronavirus by vowing to place soap in at least half of all bathrooms

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Jimmy Feeney

Senior Elise Johnson looks in awe at the amount of soap that PVHS is providing.

Jimmy Feeney, Multimedia Manager

Satire: PV has become increasingly worried about the spread of coronavirus within the community. As a direct consequence of this, the school has promised to put hand soap in at least half of all bathrooms within the high school.

When asked one PV student, Sam Rothbardt, gave their thoughts on the matter. “I think it’s a step in the right direction. Obviously, all this is rendered useless when I touch literally anything else in the school. But it’s at least something,” said Rothbardt.

The school is reportedly taking other measures to stunt the growth of the disease in the community as well, like telling anyone who has came into contact with someone from Eldridge Iowa to stay home for two weeks as well.

The addition of soap to half of all bathrooms raises the question of “why not all the bathrooms?” The school says that questioning their measures could result in no soap being placed in the bathrooms, citing ‘spite’ as their reasoning.

Spring break presents another issue for the school to get around, with many students traveling around the world. Many seniors are heading on a group trip to Riviera Maya, where the drinking age is coincidentally 18 years old, and they are sure to pass through busy international airports on their way. The school has made sure to tell all these students to “push through” if they feel any real symptoms of COVID-19 if they have already been absent for five days this school year.

Nonetheless, the school is sure to be going full steam ahead if a case of coronavirus does present itself within the school community. The promise of at least an early out once a month in order to clean and protect students would be expected to be put in place.

The threat of coronavirus has given other schools much to worry about as well, as they place their own preventive measures to stop coronavirus in their communities. Bettendorf High School has promised to “cover up” any situation with the virus, however what the district meant by that is still unclear. North Scott is worrisome however, as they may be a bit late on their release of a solution if COVID-19 comes to their district.

Coronavirus is worrisome to all. An anonymous Math teacher was asked about how they feel. “Well I only have two more sick days, so if I catch it, oh well.”