Satire: School forcing students to run marathon in five minutes

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Brenner Stickney

Senior, Joel Kachappilly, runs to get to class in the tower on time.

Brenner Stickney, Business manager

The passing period at Pleasant Valley High School is five minutes. This interval of time worked fine when the school only had two floors, but with the addition of the tower, times need to change.

Passing time is for students to go to their locker to grab materials for their next class or go to the bathroom. It also is a chance for students to take a break from classes and talk to friends. Students who need to walk to or from the third floor of the tower need more than five minutes.

A reasonable amount of time for passing time should be 30 minutes. A half an hour is necessary for a multiple of reasons. The first is the walk. Harry Hardy is a junior in AP Physics 1 in Ian Spangenberg’s room which is on the second floor near the W1 entrance. He then goes to Zach Miller’s Earth Science class which is on the third floor of the tower.

Hardy prides himself on not having run since 6th grade, but walking is not a possibility for him because his locker is next to the band rooms.  Some people told Hardy that he could take stuff for Physics and Earth Science so he wouldn’t have to go to his locker. “Meh that’s too much work,” said Hardy.

When measured, the distance between the third floor of the tower and the theatre is over 100 feet. It is absurd that students must travel this distance in five minutes, only in the gym is running required. “When I get to class, I am out of breath after going down and upstairs and traveling what feels like 26.2 miles,” said Hardy

Another reason 30 minutes is required for passing time is homework. It is common knowledge that seniors don’t actually do their homework. “Yeah, I just do homework the period before it is due,” said senior Brad Chadson. A large, but totally reasonable half an hour passing time allows students to do homework.

If students did homework during the 30 minute passing time, then they would focus more on the 20 minute periods of class. This 20 minute focus period is much more useful for kids than 45 minutes of distracted learning. Teachers could also use the break to recover from exhaustion that comes from telling kids to be quiet.

The final most important reason 30 minutes must be required is the bathroom. Five minutes is not nearly enough time to comfortably go to the bathroom, and most teachers don’t like kids going during class. 30 minutes would get rid of the line that builds during the five minute passing times.

There are no downsides at all for increasing passing time, none at all.  There is more focus in classes, time to do homework, and time to go to the bathroom. Most importantly, there is time to complete the journey across the school, through the sea of people and the mountain of stairs, to get to the third floor of the tower.