SATIRE: Club Spotlight: Stone Carving Club


Photo credit to Jimmy Guest

Freshman Trent Strunk reviews his latest work in the stone carving club

Jimmy Guest, Student Life Editor

Within the walls of geometry teacher Randall Gustafson’s classroom, the PVHS Stone Carving Club holds their bi-weekly meetings. Although this club focuses on an extremely obscure and widely unpracticed hobby, the club has been able to generate membership from all grade levels.

However, the club isn’t only about stone carving, it has been able to become something much more meaningful to its members. The PVHS stone carving club aims to make a difference in whatever way they can.

Athlete, role model, lover, and sophomore, Chad Bradson serves as club president, and has been an incredible leader and friend to all students of the stone carving club. Bradson recently proclaimed the love he has for the club that makes his presidency so effective. “It’s okay, I guess,” said Bradson. Truly inspiring.

Having a strong, assertive, passionate, sensitive, and muscular leader like Bradson is essential to the preservation of the stone carving club amidst the controversies that surround it. “So apparently it’s perfectly fine to make a petition asking to bring back a school dance, but when we try to petition for longer senior bench sitting times everybody gets upset.”

In addition to the presidency of Bradson, the club has 4 other officers. A vice-president, secretary, publicist, and treasurer. The group’s treasurer, Brad Chadson, described his initial experience with the club. “I wanted to be treasurer first because I thought there was actual treasure, and it was my job to bury it,” said Chadson. “I was very disappointed not only because there was no gold, but also because they told me I couldn’t dress up as a pirate,” he added.

Senior essential oil enthusiast, Anneliese Arrington, spoke out against the stone carving club saying, “I’m honestly surprised the club lasted this long. The members aren’t really the brightest,” said Arrington. “What do they even mean by ‘senior bench sitting times’?” Slangwhanger staff contacted Stone Carving Club co-head of sanitation and freshman Trent Strunk and asked him if he had a response to Arrington’s comments. He explained “I guess some people call them ‘hallway passing periods’.”

Although the legitimacy and intellect of the stone carving club may forever puzzle the students of PV, the members will stop at nothing to make PV a better place. That being said, the stone carving club would like to announce that a second petition for longer bench sitting times can be found outside Gustafson’s room on the third floor.